Limerix

I'm afraid I gave in to the urge to attempt limerix using the words designated in the lists (see below) of USELESS FACTS as being amongst the most difficult to create rhymes for. I can remember reading that "orange" is supposed to be the least rhyme-able common word in the English language but had not previously known that SILVER, PURPLE and MONTH were similarly handicapped.

I've not been especially successful in the way of rhymes, but I decided to post the results of my efforts anyway. I'm still working on "MONTH", but en route to it got one for its plural. (I displayed the one for SILVER in the "Comments" of the post before this one -- I know it's a particularly painful example of its breed, but *shrug* I didn't want to discriminate against it by dropping it from this group). Wince away ...

Orange
There once was a ruler of Orange
Who yearned for a tamarind lozenge
Alas! He found none.
So he sobbed in the sun
That sorrowful ruler of Orange.

Purple
A writer of prose that was purple,
Wed a glamorous sea-faring turtle.
Together they flew
From Bonn to Peru
Saying, "Thither and yonder we hurtle!"

Months
Our friendly neighbourhood dunce,
Wrote a five-minute canticle once.
We asked him how long
He worked on that song
And he told us, quite candidly, "Months."

Silver
A nervous young bandit named Wilbur
Asked a North Indian lass for her silver.
She rose up and spat
"I'm pregnant, you rat!
"Don't get me upset, or I'll dilver!"

(a day later) -- and here's that last one! (note: I realize it would be more logical to thpell ... uhh ... spell "oneth" as "onthe". But that way the pronunciation is less obvious, so I left it as it is)

Month
A lusty young lisper said, "Oneth
"I had thexth every day, every month.
"Tho avid wath I
"My lover went dry
"And that wath the end of my humpth."