HAPPINESS

I'm compiling a list of "variations on the theme of happiness". Please join in and compose one of your own! Post it as a comment or send me e-mail and I'll include it on this list. Initials are what I'm using for the moment, but if anyone wants their full name revealed they can ask for it.


VARIATIONS ON THE THEME OF HAPPINESS

I'm as happy as a …

… fruit bat in a mango orchard! (MP)

... a kite on a long string! (MP)
… a starving bear who has fallen into a pot of honey! (EG)
... a grasshopper on a Pogo stick! (GD)
... a hummingbird in a honeysuckle bush! (SN)

... a clam in a spy agency! (DM)

... a dot in a decimal factory! (KR)

... a transparency that didn't get stuck inside the photocopier! (Dr SS)

... a manic depressive with a bottle of pentobarbital! (AA)

... a newborn baby at her mother's breast! (DMM)(= new niecelet! Posted on her behalf by An Admirer)

... a closet-laundress with a new spin-dryer! (SN) (deep ref. to context here ...)

... a Scrabbler who has picked both the blanks! (SA)

... a Lawyer in a litigation-prone land! (VM)

... a Masochist in hell! (SM)

... a cat in a bowl of mice! (NR)
... a kitten in a pile of feathers! (NR)

(the following are all from AA. I tried to remove the numbers but they wouldn't go away in "compose" view and Html is only good when I don't have to fix it)

2. ... a masochist in bed with a sadist

3. ... a virgin on her wedding night

4. ... a paedophile in a kindergarten class

5. ... an agoraphobic in a stranded elevator

6. ... a urolagnic in a pathology lab

7. ... a nymphomaniac in a gang-bang

8. ... a teddy bear with its little boy

9. ... the thumb in a baby’s mouth

10.... George Bush in a B-2 over Baghdad, with his finger on the button

... a sore bum in a sitz-bath! (SN)

... a bat in a belfry! (MB)

... the ink in Will's quill! (SBI)

... the hare beating the tortoise! (SBI)

(all of the following are by AA -- who is definitely winning this blog's Most Varied Definitions of Happiness Prize)(so far)

... honey-bee in a field of thyme!

... baby who’s just had its first taste of chocolate!

... aomeone whose biopsy result says ‘Negative’!

... shopaholic with a stolen credit card!

... an anorexic in Ramadhan!

... a monk in a massage parlour!

... a suicide bomber with his foot on the accelerator!

... an author who’s writing the last paragraph of his novel!

... Charlie Brown after a kiss from the little red-haired girl!

... a fly in a puddle of shit!

(okay, these are from MP)

… a battery in a charger!

… a chick under a wing!

… a firefly in a hall of mirrors! (uhh … CRAZY happy)

… a free electron!

… a nudist on the first day of spring!

… a gas balloon on a hot day!

… a magnet at the North Pole!

… a bull in a Swarovski show room!

… a kitten with a ball of wool!

… as an arsonist in Hell! (heheh)

... a puppy in a splash pool! (RK)

(yet more from AA!)

… an olive in a martini!

… a pig with a truffle!

…. A rabbi with a pork-chop! (Uh-oh ...)

… a kid who’s just learned to cycle (30 seconds ago)!

… a pilot whose parachute has finally opened at 200 feet!

… a constipated lady who’s just had her first shit after 10 days!

… a tranvestite with a new pair of Pradas!

… Christina Hendricks’s bra!

… a guy who quit smoking and just lit up his first cigarette after 6 months!

… someone coming out of Bukhara (burp!)

... a philantrophist reincarnated as santa clause! (Shomu)

... a smile! (Ishan)

... a baby gurgling in bath-water! (Golly)

... Rip Van Winkle after 200 years of sleep! (Anjali)

(more from MP - gotta keep up with AA!)

… a shorn sheep!

… a released kidnappee!

… a new graduate!

… a flag in a high wind!

… a released dove!

… a popped pimple! (yuck!)

… a gushing geyser!

… a fresh-hatched tadpole!

… a cured AIDS patient!

… a successful litigant!

and … an escaped convict!

(OH AAAARGH! More from AA!)

… the worm in a tequila bottle

… a psychopath with a steam-roller

… an epileptic with a drum-set

… a foot fetishist in a shoe shop

…. a sniper in Sarajevo

… someone who’s discovered a wrong credit of Rs 10,00,000 in their bank account

… someone who’s just cracked the Times crossword

… someone who’s just peed in the swimming pool

… Ogden Nash, after finally finding a rhyme for ‘silver’

… the man who broke the bank at Monte Ca-a-a-rlo!

(*gasp, pant, wheeze* these are from MP)

… Galileo Galilei seeing the rings of Saturn for the first time!

… Isaac Newton being hit by his apple!

… Edmond Hillary at the summit of Everest!

… Hellen Keller saying her first word!

… Marie Curie discovering X-rays!

… Andrew Wiles solving Fermat's Last Theorem!

… Robinson Crusoe seeing a human footprint!

… Frodo when he wore the Ring!

… Max returning to his room in Where the Wild Things Are!

… Alice eating mushrooms!

(Oh NOOOOO! More from AA!)

… a kid with a new box of crayons!

… a monkey on a mango tree!

… an accountant who’s finally got his trial balance to balance!

… the bouncer in a whore-house!

… Ronald Reagan with a giant bottle of jelly-beans!

… Morarji Desai in a pathology lab!

… someone who’s just signed his first 8-figure cheque!

… someone who’s just farted in a bathtub!

… a 4-year old at a birthday party!

… the cherry on top of an ice-cream sundae!

(and these are MP's last and final set!)

… a water molecule returning to the ocean!

… salmon returning to their spawning grounds!

… ruby-throated humming birds making it across the Bay of Mexico!

… a queen bee at the peak of her inaugural flight!

… all of Bombay at the start of the monsoon!

… whooping cranes displaying!

… polar bears at the start of the next Ice Age!

… an emperor penguin at his mate's return!

… a porcupine nailing another tiger in the mouth!

… a novelist recovering from a hard-disk crash!

... a nose in a book! (EG)

... a Clintern! (JD -- who explains: "Clinton getting into an intern")