Some of these are golden oldies, but some are gnu ...
They were sent to me by the Incomparable AA.
01. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
02. They’ve designed a new kind of high-tech airport which can retrieve passengers from the aircraft even before it’s landed -- a case of out of the flying plane into the foyer.
03. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead bandicoots. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
04. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
05. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
06. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
07. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were feeling really cold, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly, it sank … proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
08. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
09. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
10. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.