Tuesday, October 25, 2005

SEVENTH BULLETIN -- IN BERKELEY

It's been over a week since we got to Berkeley and I've not posted a word coz ... I'm wholly preoccupied in pleasurable pursuits such as: cat-petting; eating; going for walks; eating; decorating porcelain bowls; eating; meeting with the director and cast of the Berkeley production of HARVEST; cat-petting; chatting over wine and great food with our friends and hosts, Laura & Kiran; inevitably, eating; cat-petting; meeting the team at the Centre for South Asian Studies over at the U, in preparation for the small art-exhibition they have kindly agreed to host in mid-November; cat-petting; going to San Francisco for a day trip to meet a cyber-buddy of EIGHT YEARS' ACQUAINTANCE for the FIRST TIME; walking around a little more; getting bitten by cat fleas; eating; sleeping.

Right -- and now that you're up-to-date with my affairs, I can get on with the serious business of posting a list of Premium Blonde Jokes:

Seven Degrees of Blondes
1st DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and
hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the
coast is clear."
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      -:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
2nd DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
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      -:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*

3rd DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and  buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she
does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun an puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
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4th DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
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      -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*
5th DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?

"Is it mine?"
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      -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*
6th DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her
US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe
vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
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      -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
7th DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out
on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat
down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they
do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`
      -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
Ok. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today!!!

4 comments:

Mrudula said...

Many thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

the blonde kept running out of her house and looking into her mail box and shutting it with disgust. finally her neighbour, who had been lounging in the sun in her lawn asked her - "heh whats the matter?" to which the blonde replied - "darn computer - keeps telling me that i've got mail"!
gt

Unknown said...

Thanks mrudula -- even though, as I'm sure you realize, those blondes (and their jokes) were not created by me. Just another amusement gleaned from the net ...

And gt -- AHOY! I am in your neighbourhood, as you may have realized. If you happen to be in Berkeley, we could wave out to one another!!

Anonymous said...

was at san fran myself a few days ago - for a boring meeting but managed to blow my mind in the sfmoma - museum of modern art.
rubbed shoulders with the standard masters but was enlie10ed
by doris salcedo. check out http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/
2002/12.12/25-salcedo.html
or google her name. colombian gal

u got to inspect her if you ever can. amazing stuff!

sorry we missed - but i might be in ur neck of the woods mid dec. mebbe? gt